There’s nothing like waking from a homesick sleep to a message from my father who must posses the gift of knowing when things aren’t right. We may not always agree, but he makes sure to remind me that I’m loved. And that’s all I need.
"Feb 24th. You belong. Thank God for Jesus! Stay focus and positive. Love Ya!!!!"
I went to bed at 3 am and woke up at 7:30 to finish the work I couldn’t focus on last night. My elbows hurt at the joints especially my left. I don’t know why and I don’t remember banging it. Now that I’m thinking about it, It’s been hurting for a while. If I sit for more than 10 minutes and get up my hip joints hurt. When I walk I can feel my bones more than usual. I don’t really know how to explain it but if feels like gritting teeth and that’s probably not normal. I have a pain in my stomach on the left side above my hip but lower than my belly button. My back hurts constantly so I slouch when I walk nowadays. There’s dark circles under my eyes in the morning, I wear make-up almost every day now so I’m not sure it’s just a morning thing. I’ll have to investigate that. My hair is thinning. The evidence lies on the wood floor in front of my mirrow. My weight has gone down I’m sure, because my breasts have definitely gotten smaller and that’s how I can usually tell. No, not doing it on purpose. I’m all about loving your body but mine seems to be falling apart and I’m feeling a little out of control. How do you explain feeling like an 80 year old when you’re 19? I just tried pushing the create post butting and my left elbow hurt with the movement.